Girlfriend Tattoos advice

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Smiler335
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Girlfriend Tattoos advice

Post by Smiler335 » Fri Jun 21, 2019 7:32 am

Hi All,

I'd just like to hear peoples thoughts on this please. I'll try to keep it brief but I'm not very good at that!

I'm in a long distance relationship, different countries, we met here in England, fell in love over long distance communication before we'd even hugged or kissed or whatever. Which is the reason I managed to accept something that's traditionally turned me off of some women in the past - tattoos, my girlfriend loves them and has around 12. I have one that was done when I was 16 so it's not something I'm dead against, I just don't particularly like them on either sexes, it's not a 'I don't like tattoos on women' thing.

Everything is going well, we're about 9 months in, got over a couple of small issues etc but she is my best friend and an amazing girl. We have a brilliant time when we're together and have a good time talking long distance, we're pretty serious about each other, we've spoken a lot about the future etc etc etc.

Something is really bugging me now though. She's getting a new tattoo (I was always aware she wasn't finished) but this one is different, it's a Rams skull from her shoulder to her elbow, on the same arm she already has a big tattoo on her forearm so this will almost be a complete sleeve now. She showed me the design on Monday over video call and I think its hideous. I didn't tell her but it was pretty obvious I didn't like it.

I'm not going to ask her not to get it, it's her body and I can't tell her what to do it life.
Can I ask her to reconsider partly? If it was smaller and more discreet it wouldn't bother me but I've even thought it might be a deal breaker for me. Maybe it shouldn't be but I just can't seem to get over it at the moment. It also makes me worry where she will stop. I've discussed with her how many more she wants and have come to terms with it but I wasn't expecting this Rams skull to be so big and horrible which makes me wonder what the others are going to be. Physical attraction isn't anywhere near the biggest draw for me but I am worried about this.

I want her to be happy but I don't really want to look at a massive skull covering her arm, there's not even anything feminine about it, it's just going to be a huge ugly skull.

Am I being silly over this? Is it something I have to just accept and get over or should I tell her my concerns and ask if she can't consider changing the location or the design?

I'm going back and forth all the time on it, I love her for who she is, not what she looks like but this skull has really shocked me.

I guess I failed at keeping it brief :)

Thanks

Tucco
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Re: Girlfriend Tattoos advice

Post by Tucco » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:16 pm

Hi there Smiler,
For me you are in a bit of a tricky situation in regards to this, I think that if you were married or living together you would have more of a right to an opinion. As it stands at the moment this lady has every right to do what she wishes with her body.
The only thing you can do is hope that she asks for your honest opinion and in that case you have to be truthful. Other than that you have no option but to accept and live with it if you choose to.

Hope this is of some help.

boulding
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Re: Girlfriend Tattoos advice

Post by boulding » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:49 am

Hi Smiler

I think you are trying to be way too nice and trying to avoid an argument at all costs. Stop being apologetic and self effacing.

It doesn't need to be an argument. You say she is your best friend so do what a best friend would do and give some friendly honest advice. If it really is as hideous as you describe you could (jokingly) say it would be a great big turn off for you.

If she goes ahead there's not much you can do and you will have to accept it but at least you will have had your say and been honest with her.

Smiler335
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Re: Girlfriend Tattoos advice

Post by Smiler335 » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:22 am

Thanks both for the replies. It took a while for my post to be approved so it's been a while since I was worrying about it. She cancelled the appointment in the end. I don't know if that's because of me or not.

As it turns out I've come to terms with it, honestly I think you're both right, Tucco that is exactly how I feel. I don't know where this relationship will go and tattoos are something that she will have for the rest of her life whether I'm there or not

Boulding thanks, I understand what you mean, I wouldn't expect her to keep quiet about something I was going to do that she really didn't like. Having said that theres not much that turns me off so that joke probably wont work haha.

We'll be together next week, I'll make sure I bring it up.

But quite honestly one thing I've realised being long distance is that things like this actually mean far less than what I thought in the past.

Thanks again

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