Why do people change their mind?

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Why do people change their mind?

Postby DCapus » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:21 am

Hi all,

I wanted to get in touch to see if anyone had any thoughts on this situation.

So to explain what has happened. Last year I broke up from my long term girlfriend (5 years, and that is long term for me as I'm 23 :lol: ), and that shook me up for a while. Recently I started speaking to this girl, and I really got on with her, instant chemistry etc. This was the first time since my breakup that I thought whooaa there actually are other girls in this world. So we went out for a date last Saturday which was great, ended with a kiss at the end =D> and then met after work on Wednesday again went really, great conversation, touching, kissing. So we agreed to meet up again next week for a third. However, this morning she text me to say that she changed her mind about us. She let me know that I was a great guy and she really did have a great time on our dates, but it wasn't right :-({|=

Now I'm not going to ask her to explain herself (hey we only went on two dates, she doesn't owe me anything), and I'm not going to try and change her mind. If she doesn't want to see me anymore then so be it (can't say I'm not disappointed as I really did liker her). If she wants to see me again then I want her to naturally realise it, rather than me come off as needy. But I just wanted to get your thoughts on why you think she had this change in heart. I don't think it's another guy as it's only been one day since I last saw her, and I know she was at work yesterday (I of course could be wrong but have a gut feeling that I'm not). So yeah let me know your thoughts.

Cheers of the advice, appreciate it
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby Rko28 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 12:37 pm

It's a question I'm asking myself for the past 7 days
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby reckoner » Fri Jun 16, 2017 1:40 pm

It's difficult to say so early on but I think people are generally looking for some ineffable X factor, or 'spark', and they either feel it or they don't. The most important thing i think is to not take it personally. Unless you (I mean one but don't want to sound like the Queen) are an unpleasant person, which I doubt on current evidence, being right for someone is everything to do with them and nothing to do with you, if you know what I mean. The more you date and the more it doesn't work out, the harder it is to believe and maintain the cheerful and carefree demeanour that might draw someone good to you. I think dating is hard!
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby DCapus » Fri Jun 16, 2017 2:03 pm

reckoner wrote:It's difficult to say so early on but I think people are generally looking for some ineffable X factor, or 'spark', and they either feel it or they don't. The most important thing i think is to not take it personally. Unless you (I mean one but don't want to sound like the Queen) are an unpleasant person, which I doubt on current evidence, being right for someone is everything to do with them and nothing to do with you, if you know what I mean. The more you date and the more it doesn't work out, the harder it is to believe and maintain the cheerful and carefree demeanour that might draw someone good to you. I think dating is hard!


I agree it probably is a lack of 'spark' on her end which is a shame because I was definitely into her. Bit of a downer, but no point in chasing her. She has her reasons for not wanting to continue and that's that.

You're right dating is hard!
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby reckoner » Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:09 pm

I think the problem is that any hope that a relationship will work out flies in the face of the fact that the vast majority of them don't. For example, all monogamists have only ever had one successful relationship, at most - the one they're in. That's not intended to depress you, just to manage expectations!
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby DCapus » Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:09 pm

It's alright, I'm not hurt or annoyed by the situation. Disappointed as I did liker her, but I move on. No point in trying to rush these things.
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Re: Why do people change their mind?

Postby SHYGLASGOWGIRL1988 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:37 pm

I don't think there is any real answer to that. People don't always find what they are looking for and sometimes it just doesn't "feel right". I have been a very confusing relationship for the past year with crazy emotion changes (different things happening in peoples lives can change them and their feelings towards people) Please don't take it personally. The right girl is out there for you. Life is way to short to be worrying about a 2 date "thing" You have to grab life and live it to the full.

:)
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