Should I try a gay relationship?

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Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby Achilles » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:35 pm

I have a bisexual side to me which I've always been aware of, though my inclinations are probably about 90% for women. I've been in a long-term marriage but the woman I was married to died. This was now a few years ago but I still feel I couldn't handle another relationship with a woman. It wouldn't work because of the emotional baggage I carry with me. Should I try it out with a guy? What do you think?
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby snail » Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:55 pm

It's hard for anyone other than you to really know the answer to that question, but two things occurred to me when reading your post. Firstly, if you have this side to you and you want to explore it and you are completely free to do so, it would be a shame to miss out on it and go to your grave wondering about it. Secondly, I wouldn't have a relationship with a man if what you really want is another relationship with a woman but feel you couldn't handle it. It would be better to sort out whatever 'baggage' is there.
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:14 pm

I agree it would be sad to go through life have a "second rate" relationship. I think it would be good to get help for your grief as it sounds like you will never be able to move on properly until this is dealt with
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby Achilles » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:44 pm

I think you're right. I should try the gay relationship
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby peecee » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:17 am

Do you have someone in mind?
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby rufio89 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:59 am

I think if you're not ready to get involved with another woman, you're probably also not ready to get involved with a man. As BelBel said, I'd suggest going to see someone about your grief, or working through it yourself a little more before you get involved with ANYONE. When you feel ready to move on, it sounds like this is an area of your life that's worth pursuing to see how you feel about it.
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby Achilles » Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:13 pm

1 - I've never seen anything wrong in physical relationships between men though in lots of personal circumstances you would conclude (and you'd be right) it would be a very good idea not to do THAT. I'm no longer in that situation.
2 - I did date another female. She was divorced and had a subsequent breakdown and it was her emotional baggage that made me aware of mine. A situation where two emotionally damaged people are negotiating possibilities and boundaries between them is difficult.
3 - After the enormous lows I've been through, some uncomplicated fun would probably do me a lot of good.
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Re: Should I try a gay relationship?

Postby Achilles » Fri Jul 04, 2014 2:58 pm

And now I really fancy dating another female and putting down the extent of my quandaries to the last female I dated. Whos want to have bisexual feelings? I don't.
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