should i affect our friendship?

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should i affect our friendship?

Postby guini123 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:39 pm

For the last 3 years i have been in a really good friendship with an older friend who i met when i went to a youth club, since then we have been meeting up regulary, always texting eachother and always facebooking eachother . Just over a year after we met he told me (and at this point i was the only one to know) that he was bi , i hadnt at all expected this but as a mate i supported him and he trusted me.

Then in febuary of last year him and his BF split up , again i supported him and was just being friendly , then 3 months later he started dating a girl but eventually they ended too , but now are friendship seems to be getting really close , we text eachother loads and also meet up more , then things started to get a little flirty, he said he really liked me and that i was a really good mate but continued with the heated comments , he was calling me alot aswell.

But now he has been saying things , like when i would text him saying i was going to bed he would say things like 'wish i could come to bed with you' and that me and him should go on holiday together , i am still in upperschool but he is still 3 or 4 years older than me, and i really dont know what to do , he is a brilliant mate and i dont think i would want it any other way.

Am i just taking it the wrong way ? should i confront him or just leave it ?
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Re: should i affect our friendship?

Postby ILoveChristmas » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:01 pm

Provided you're not responding to these comments (i.e. adding fuel to the fire) then I think it's safe to leave things and see how it plays out. He may feel as a result of these two relationships ending that he wants attention, and as he comes to terms and moves on from them he'll move his attentions to someone who can become a love interest for him.

Having said that, if you feel that you're uncomfortable, or that the friendship is in jeopardy, then yes I think you should confont him. Confront is maybe not the right word. I think I would ask him if he has time for a chat and mention quite casually that you feel his flirtatious comments, if he means them that way, are threatening your friendship.

It may be that he'll play it down if you talk to him and claim that you've taken what he said the wrong way, and if that's the case then if it were me i'd let it go. He'll probably be quite embarassed and he'll have got the message that you don't like it.
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Re: should i affect our friendship?

Postby ObiWan » Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:38 pm

I do agree with what the last poster said. I feel that he is leaning on you because of problems in previous realationships. If he is making you feel uncomfotable then yes I think you should talk to him, carefully, as I think he may value your friendship as you do his.
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