by ObiWan » Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:48 am
Firstly well done for being able to express how you feel. It is not a choice that you can make about your sexuality, although I realise not everyone holds this view. I think its important to realise that this is only one part of you as a person. I recognise some of the hiding away feelings, and then the feeling that you would like to be more open. Because of your age I would advice caution with your parents, mostly because of your age and the fact you're are very much still dependant on them, and think they would react badly.
Parents are often way down the list of people to tell, especially if you feel they wouldnt take it too well. It can be better to wait until you are living independantly before saying anything, if you feel its important to actually say anything. Sometimes parents will take it better than you think, as in a perfect world the unconditional love bit should be the most important thing, but as I said I wouldnt rely on that I would advise normally to tell a friend / sympathetic relative / school councellor or indeed one of the various young peoples helplines first, and to only tell one person at a time, and definately to be as sure as you can about getting a reasonable reaction from the person you tell, and someone that will not blab it to everyone hopefully. Once you can manage to get more people who accept you for who you are, I think you while find you will feel stronger generally. While you cant always gauge exactly the reaction you will get, I think bringing up subjects like gay celebrities, or even fibbinh a little and say you have someone who came out to you ... its a way of getting a reaction.
I know some people will probably say at your age it can be a phase, though I think often you are at the age when you really start coming to terms with how you feel, and often looking back there where signs that you had these feelings for quite some time. I think also its important to not be pushed into relationships until you personally feel ready. I know sometimes another view from people will be you cant be sure until you have had a relaionship. I dont believe that to be so either, who you are attracted does not start after a relaionship starts, it starts before. I think the issue of children can be a confusing one, and one ive felt myself. Its important to remember that not all hetersexual couples have (or want) children. Some want them and are unable too, sometimes one person would want them and the other not (that one can lead to the breakdown of relationships sometimes if both people feel strongly about this). In the future if you feel strongly about this subject you could always look at adopting or fostering, as sexuality is not seen as a bar as it used to be. Anyway, I hope this has helped a little, and good luck.