head says no, heart says yes!

For any problems related to sexuality, coming out & gay relationships.
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go for it?

yeah why not - u only live once & could be missing out on a lifetime of happiness
no stay friends - could open up a whole can of worms that will only hurt you!
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head says no, heart says yes!

Post by misskittykat » Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:06 pm

Hi Guys

Hope i have put this in right section. I didnt know whether to put it into Friends or not but to me it is more of a romantic problem...

Any views on any section of this will be greatly appreciated as there is so little help out there for being on the receiving end of a bi-friends love when you are not the same sex:

* A's best friend is a guy and basically A and B are made for eachother

* B is bi - he has had bf's and gf's and had sex with both. A has seen him with both guys and girls and she doesnt have a problem with this at all

* B has not come out as gay but A has seen him listed on a gay personals site as gay not bi - is this because bi is not always as accepted by the gay community or is he hiding his true sexuality from everyone and A?

* B is 'in love' with A and wants to be with A (this has been announced many times over the many years A and B have been friends but due to other relationships etc A has always brushed B off and they have stayed friends with him 'suffering in silence' as A finds new bfs and any one new he meets is always second best apparently) <-- quotations are B's words btw

* This is the first time A has realised just how much she loves him and now wants to be with him romantically too

* A is worried that B is actually gay and because they are so close he thinks can keep a cap on it for her - this he fervently denies and has actually gotten quite cross over

* B has said he would want noone or nothing ( ie a penis) else if he could have A. She is that special to him

* B wants to marry A and have kids together blah blah blah. He has even told A's family this

* B does have bad luck with women (probably as whenever they go out it is like they are together) - is this pushing him towards the male side of his sexuality so at least he can get 'some'

* A is scared of being hurt and rejected but also on losing out on what could be the best relationship ever

Any advice on what she should do from here?
Do they go for it?
Or is he in denial about his own sexuality due to a less open minded family?
For the whole situation, A's head is saying no but her heart is saying yes! Her head says no because there are elements of her life she would lose and she is very cautious when it come s to love... xx

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Post by Ogadai » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:01 am

this does sound like an awkward situation but i'm afraid all i can think of is this:
in order to have a good relationship you need to take some risks, as, indeed, you do in life.
i myself am having the same sort of trouble, there is a girl, who i know has a b/friend, but my mind mind says move on and my heart says follow her.
all i can say is it's her choice and her's alone.
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Post by Lolly - Pop » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:20 am

The way I see it if B is Bi it doesn't matter if him and A get together. Being Bi doesn't mean that you can have a girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time, you are just are attracted to both genders.I would give it a chance cause they sound like they are crazy about each other

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Post by Bel Bel » Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:08 pm

Ogadai is right there is always an element of risk involved in a relationship.
Why don't you ask why they are listed as gay? You don't have to be considering a relationship to want to know the answer to that, your curious.
What are the elements you would lose and how important are they to you?
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