Friends say I have an eating disorder but I don't see it

For any type of physical problem.
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Moose
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Post by Moose » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:28 pm

People who say "Smile" when you're depressed, or "Eat" when you just can't don't know what they are talking about. I really think you should see a doctor - but you must want to help yourself as well.

Surely you think you have a bit of a problem, or did you post here to ask for advice on your friends saying they're concerned all the time? If that's the case, why didn't you post in the Friends section?

Maybe you aren't anorexic. But if so many people are saying that they think you are, you should go and get it checked out - if only to shut everyone up!

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Post by luvva » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:49 pm

I think the advice everyone had given has been really helpful and it's worth going to the doctor, just to get checked out.

I think sometimes it's hard to see you have a problem, sometimes you don't notice at all and you have to trust and believe the people around you. When you have an eating disorder you always see your body different to other people, you may see yourself as being fat or seeing the flab you mentioned but if other people see you, they probably just think about how slim you look.

Eating only a few meals a week isn't healthy at all, you need to eat a balanced diet and have the correct calorie intake everyday, also the right exercise will help and that's the only way you will get rid of the flab.

Also, taking laxatives isn't good for your body. None of us are experts on here, so you really should go to your doctor. Please listen to your friends, they aren't saying these things for no reason, they care about you.

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Post by BlackPeegley » Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:41 pm

I wouldn't know what to say to a doctor... and i've had counselling previously and i asked my counsellor about it and he said "only you can determine if you have an eating disorder"... which of course was a great help... NOT... so what would i say?

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Post by luvva » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:30 pm

I think you should probably just tell him your hieght and weight, that might be a good start. Um, maybe you could write down what you'd eat in a week and give that to them, and they could see if what you were eating was suitable.

Also you could say that your friends have been saying you're anorexic and you were wondering if they could possibly be right. Might be a good idea to tell them how you feel about your body as well, and they could give you some advice.

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Post by Nail Queen » Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:19 am

first off i would like to say that no one here is qualified to say that you do or don't have an eating disorder. So i urge you to seek a doctor as your eating patterrns are not normal and are not healthy. Turning to laxatives is not a healthy way to control weight, this link explains why http://www.fruit-eze.com/education/laxative/habit.html
I do not doubt that that this is a differcult situation, espaecially as you dont see what the people around you do.
On going to your doctor you dont have to mention eating disorders if you dont want you, you can just say you want advice on healthy weight loss. Your doctor will be able to tell you if you need to lose weight, and if you dont try and help you identify why you want to and refer you to people that can help.
Once again i want to say i am not saying you have a problem, but laxatives missing meals with intake restriction is not good for you and as already mentioned your body is going through an important time in your life.
This website may help you http://www.edauk.com/young_home.htm
Take care of yourself
In the words of Don Mclean......
They were not listening, They're not listening still, Perhaps they never will!

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Post by lilessexgal » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:48 pm

yes thank you Nail Queen has explained my point much clearer! we arent all qualified doctors if any so the only way you can sort this out is by just trying to see the doctor and asking him for help! someone has got to help you if you ask them they can not turn you down! please just go to the doctor but for you think about losing more weight!
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Post by johfow00 » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:55 pm

A doctor can only help you/advise you if you admit that you have a problem; thats when people can really help you. and lets face it you do - your too underweight - im a lad and us lads dont like really skinny girls!!

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Post by Enigma » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:56 pm

This topic needs a more descriptive title. Decide upon one and we'll change it.

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Post by BlackPeegley » Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:35 pm

I'm sorry, I really couldn't and can't think of any other way of titling it. If you happen to have a better topic title, please place as you will.
Thankyou

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Post by Enigma » Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:46 pm

Done.

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Post by worstfriend » Fri Jan 07, 2005 7:30 pm

Black Peegley it sounds like you have a serious body image problem. Ask yourself why so many people in your life would be saying you are too thin and have a problem with food if you don't. These are people who care about you, why would all of them lie to you about this?

You know that eating 3 healthy meals a day is normal and therefore by definition your eating habits are abnormal. You also know that laxatives are not for weight control, yet you persisit in using them for this purpose. Before you can recover you need to accept that you have a very big problem here.

My colleague (who is a dietitian) tells me that she has had girls and boys who are as little as 4 pound lighter than you hospitalised and tube fed. Tube feeding involved having a tube pushed up your nose and into your stomach so you lose all hope of controlling even WHAT you eat, never mind how much. You are causing irreperable damage to your major organs, you are causing potentially irreversible damage to your fertility. Have your period stopped yet? I expect they will soon. Once that happens, they may never return normally and you may need invasive procedures to have children. If you lose more weight the hair on your head will begin to come out, and the hair on your body will grow long and silky as your body desperately tries to conserve calories by reducing heatloss. Your teeth will loosen and come out. If this continues without treatment, without you starting to eat again, your vital organs will begin to fail, you will be bed-ridden, you will be unable to attend school, or even leave your hospital bed. If you do not then accept treatment and start to eat, your heart will fail and you will die.

This might seem frightening (or simply unbelievable) but having worked in a childrens hospital, i can tell you that this can and does happen to anorexics every day. Anorexia nervosa is the number one cause of death in psychiatric wards today, and that is what it is, a psychiatric illness.

See your GP, i'm positive he/she will be greatly alarmed and will refer you to counselling and a dietitian to help you overcome this problem.

So many anorexics start out trying to control their eating habits and pretty soon find that their eating habits control them. I bet even now you couldn't eat if you wanted to. I bet when you do eat you have to arrange the food on your plate in a special way so that it isn't touching and so it is divided into perfectly equal pieces of each food.

When your weight reaches a level below what it should be, you become mentally ill - this is the stage when most anorexics really start to die - they cannot see the sense in what everyone is telling them - to eat. They truly feel the whole world is lying to them, and are determined to get thin, to be thin, to prove everyone wrong. Sadly this is a one-way path to death.

Please seek help. We are all thinking of you and rooting for you. We know you can conquer this.

Worsfriend

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Post by Loopy » Fri Jan 07, 2005 9:01 pm

I wouldn't know what to say to a doctor... and i've had counselling previously and i asked my counsellor about it and he said "only you can determine if you have an eating disorder"... which of course was a great help... NOT... so what would i say?


I'm afraid this is correct, as I posted in CaptainFlynn's topic, you can't get help til you accept that you have a problem. The fact that you've been to a counsellor at all is something, isn't it?

At 15, most girls are OBSSESSED with body image-I know this, because I was! I went through phases of eating lots then eating nothing for days, no I look back and think it was just my age, which is probably what your relatives think.

To me, personally, and professionally, I think you do have some issues and a perception difficulty, but only you will decide when it's time to do something about it. It'll be that, or you'll get so ill that you will be forced into making decisions about treatments.

I found it helpful to do some research on eating disorders, to see what happens if you get extremely unwell, it can be shocking and upsetting but it puts some perspective on your own problems, and make you think.
I hope you are well, take care.

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Post by BlackPeegley » Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:13 am

No offence to your post or anything, but you can't really mention about the people 4 pounds lighter than me unless you specify that they are actually the same age and similar hieght because it makes a difference... and yes, your post did frighten me quite a bit... I went to the doctors today about it and they said it did appear that i have an eating disorder and are now arranging some more psychiatric treatment for me. I'm scared though, that it's more of a habit and obession now... not really something i can control.
I was so determined that i didn't have a problem, that the doctors responce cane as a huge shock to me... I'm still trying to take it in and attempting to accept it.

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Post by worstfriend » Sat Jan 08, 2005 11:03 am

Black Peegley - brilliant girl. I'm so proud of you!
You are VERY VERY brave and even though you're scared right now, you have taken an incredibly strong first step. You are now on the path to beat your affliction. It won't always be easy, but you're going to do it.

I think you're just amazing.

I'm sorry i wasn't more specific in my last post, but yes, the girls and boys i referred to were within an inch either side of your height, though possibly their problem was more advaced because they had already become determined to "get thin" and were not responding to any help at all.

You're right about it becoming habit you can't control, it's partly to do with your weight though, once you gain a little bit, your brain will be able to begin functioning 100% again and you will be able to reason with the unreasonable part of your brain that won't let you eat when you feel like it.

My post was scary but on the whole i'd rather anyone suffering from this terrible condition read it and was frightened enough to accept it was really happening than ignored it until it had such a hold on them that they couldn't fight it off. Eating Disorders are real and serious conditions and not something you are responsible for or have caused. Hold on to that, there may be some people who imply you have done it for attention. By the time you reach the stage you're at, as you know yourself, the habit has taken over and it is no longer a matter of choice.

I wish you luck in your journey back to health. Accept any counselling etc on offer - so many people think that once you gain back weight you are no longer anorexic but this is far from true - anorexia stems from inside, a desire to control our lives and our choices often at a time when our choices have been taken from us in some way. It can also be a reflection of our burgeoning desire to be our own person and make our own choices.

Remember how brave you have been these past few days, and hold onto that - you KNOW now how brave you can be. It will help you on your way.

I admire your courage Back Peegley.

Love

WF

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Post by lilessexgal » Sat Jan 08, 2005 11:13 am

glad you went to the doctors because we wanted you to or else the eating disorder could of taken you over! we are still here if you want support in the emotional aspect!

its ok to be scared because when the doctors say they are going to refer you and help you get it sorted because you probably havent done something like this before! but just relax and think "i am going to get help" and think that if this works your friends wont say anything about you! trust me in the end you will be pleased with yourself in the difference whether you thought you had a eating disorder or not!
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