I feel like my diet will turn into an eating disorder.

[TRIXABELLE_RAYNE]

Basicaly, I have been a big build pretty much all my life, I'm 17 now by the way, when I was 13 I lost a lot of weight and I got a shape to my body for once, I havent ever lost that shape, however I still dont like the way I look. I'm wide because of my bones and its not like I have inches of fat on my hips there is about an inch and possibly a bit on each side, I wear size 14 clothes and dont like to wear fasionable clothes as I feel they dont flatter me at all, so I pretty much live in jeans, top and cardigan. The majority of my clothes are black too as this makes me look slimmer than I am. I never feel comfortable when I'm out unless I'm sucking in my belly. So I decided about 8 weeks ago that I wanna lose weight, I have lost a stone and 4 pounds already but I want to lose another 4 stone still which will bring me to around 10 stone, this is where I get lazy and cant be bothered to go with the eating healthy, exercising is okay as I feel a lot better after I know I have just burned 500 calories off but I'm concious of calories that I eat I barely eat 1000 a day and where my results of weight loss are getting smaller amounts at the moment I want to just find a quick way, after I eat I always feel like rubbish and feel disapointed in myself and think, should I go and make myself be sick? And I really want to but I know the damage it can do, not only to my body but my family so I understand the bad side to it but the good side takes over all that bad stuff for me. I hate the way I am and want to look in the mirror for once and think, wow, thats really me instead of me just imagining how I could be. I am so fed up, I want a fast way to lose weight!!!

[Bel Bel]

Simple answer - you can't
It sound like your problem isn't your body but they way you are viewing it and the unreal expectations you have. You say yourself you are big in the bones no amount of excercise and dieting will make your bones smaller.
You would be better off learning to love yourself for what you are. If necessary go and get some conselling or cognitive therapy to help you
You are already in a dangerous mindset and you will end up with a serious problem and you are likely to hurt yourself and family.
Size 14 is under the average of size 16. I am a14 and curvy and I can tell you many men compliment me on the fact I ave curves instead of being straight up and down.
You can't fundementally change what your body is and dieting to the degree of 1000 calories a day could already be starting to do damage to your organs

[snail]

I agree with Bel. Plus, given your recent trauma as mentioned in your other posts, it's also no surprise you're struggling to feel good about yourself right now, and trying to find the answer in weight loss. I think you should let your feelings about that settle before deciding how you feel or what you want to do about your appearance.

[TRIXABELLE_RAYNE]

You people talk so much sence compared to me. You've helped alot, thanks.x