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Post by lollilollilolli » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:34 am

Warning: This will be long

I am 22, love going out with my friends having fun, I tend to make the most of my nights and dont like going for "one or two" as it makes me want to stay out.

This new years ever was a new awakening for me, i picked a fight with my fiance over the stupidest thing imaginable when i was drunk and made a holy show of myself in front of my friends and their parents(it was a new years eve party we had been iinvited to).

The next day i sat down and thought of the past year and reliased every time i went out i did something that made me say the next morning "oh my god i cant believe i did that" This ranges from falling and busting my knee, to flirting with everyone, to fighting with a bouncer.

I know it doesnt sound like a lot but i feel the alcohol brings out a horrible side to me, I am an angry person anyway everyone who knows me knows that ive an awful temper, but when im drinking i seem to be happy , but when something happens to annoy me i go into full scale temper mode.

I have spoken to my sisters(who i go out with a lot) and my friends and they have ALL said to me "We love going out with you cos you never know whats gonna happen with you" They also said i very rarley get mad when im out that i just think i do.

I know the drinks not the proplem and that i am. I told my fiance im giving up drink for a while and try to go out and not drink. And he said the same thing as my friends that "drink doesnt make me mad and even so i rarley lose my temper when im out"

It seems everyone i ask about it is telling me that its all in my head and my friend asked me last night to go out and i said no cos she knew i was off the drink and she said "Ah it wont be any fun without ya"

I want to try this but everywhere i look people are telling me its all in my head and that everyone gets a lil mad when they drink. I have also made a pledge to calm down temper wise and so far i have not lost my temper since new years(bear in mind id lose my temper at least once a day even for stupid things like dropping a cup)

All i know is i felt mortified after the show i made of myself new years eve, and after apoligising to my friends and their parents i feel better, but my friends words are still ringing in my ears.

What am i supposed to believe when my friends/family/partner say one thing and i think another?

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Post by HappyGoLucky » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:48 am

It's your choice, so say a big firm "NO" when asked out for a drink. I think your friends should be more supportive towards your decision to stop drinking, even if it's for a while.

Sometimes I get mad at little things too and it makes me feel terribly irritated. I'd go to my room and read a book or something while listening to some music and that makes me feel better. :P

Tell your friends, family and partner firmly that you've set your mind to stop drinking for the time being.

Good luck! :)
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Post by brfc » Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:28 am

drink does funny things to you. when your happy it makes u even happier but when your feeling angry it can make that feeling 10 x worse.

ive done some stupid things in the past to drink. infact i think my last relationshiip went belly up due to drink. we both drunk far too much and had so many silly arguments through it.

now im with my new g/f drink isnt a big part of my life anymore she doesnt drink much and neither do i. i feel loads better for it!

theres loads more you can do like going out to the cinema go for a meal or even a cosy night in with a dvd etc without boozing yourself silly. if your happy not drinking you stick with it.

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Post by missyx » Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:29 pm

You're doing the right thing - if you think drink may be a problem, then it's a problem. YOU know what's best for YOU.

If you think you can resist the booze, there's nothing stopping you going out. If you drive, why not volunteer to be the designated driver so you HAVE to stay sober? I used to have a minor drink problem but spotted it in time, so I don't drink much now. I often go out with friends, but usually drive, (friends now love that I don't drink!) so I just have soft drinks. There are some nice ones you know! Try orange juice with bitter lemon, or something like Reef or J20.

If you want to go out but not be tempted by drink, try doing something where drink isn't a big deal - take your friends bowling, or to bingo! Seriously, it's fun! You could even get everyone involved in thinking up more and more unusual nights out. We've had the best nights out doing the strangest things - clay pigeon shooting was suprisingly good even theough it was something I NEVER fancied doing. Go to a theme park or for a midnight picnic.

Either way, being teetotal is no reason to be a recluse!
Good luck, and congratulations on getting off the drink.

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Re: drinking

Post by retrochav » Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:58 pm

Like any drug, alcohol magnifies your underlying emotional mood.

Alcohol depresses inhibition, so things you wouldnt normally do seem less of an issue. If you feel you cant control the amount you drink then you are wise to consider your options. Next time you are out, as soon as you feel the relaxed sensation most of us feel, then see if you can reach for a soft drink - ideally water or non fizzy juice.

If you feel you cant do this, then you may realise you control is slipping and you may want to seek assistance. It takes a brave and self aware person to recognise this issue. If only everyone could realise this problem, we wouldnt have half the antisocial behaviour panics in this country.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.

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Post by Neesy » Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:47 pm

Nobody knows you better than you know yourself and you seem to have identified a problem. Been through much the same myself although I used to drink until I was ill on a regular basis.

It was only when I did what you did i.e. sat down and had a good think, that I realised I had to do something about it. I just cut back on the amount I was drinking and controlled it instead of letting it get control (or should that be lack of control?) over me

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Post by Yellowcoaching » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:58 pm

Both drinking and anger management can be issues. They can be tackled together or seperately. The easy way to tell if it's the drink that causes the problem. Or just unleashes it...is stop for a period of a month and see how many outbursts you have.

if you still feel tense all the time then get some help with anger management. PM me if you need help.
You only get one life; I can help you make the most of it.

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