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General update

PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 3:35 pm
by Tarantula
Hi all

I just thought I'd give you all a quick update on my things since I last posted a problem of my own, regarding feeling bored and somewhat resentful in my current relationship.

I've gone around the cycle a few more times, but have decided to stay because I think I would have those problems with anybody I was with. The good still by far outweighs the bad, and I couldn't ask for a more supportive, caring, patient partner who genuinely wants me to be happy.

I've done a lot of reading and things lately, and come to realise that I have a difficulty with regulating my moods, when it comes to my partner. I relate to the symptoms list/typical causes for BPD (mood swings, fear of abandonment, dissociation, history of sexual abuse in childhood), which I've decided to do something about. So I'm starting therapy soon, and am meditating daily. Doing all the things that are good for my mind.

Workwise, I'm spending a lot of time giving presentations about child sexual abuse, training professionals etc... very rewarding, but also quite emotionally draining. I'm also FINALLY starting a coaching course, something I've wanted to do for years... I'm passionate about helping people navigate their problems and inspiring them to do things differently; I think that's why I write on here so much! I also think I've learned a thing or two about resilience and a lot about relationships too. I'm only tiny, I'm 26 and have been a forum member since I was 15! So I'm excited to see what I can achieve in the coming years.

I'd been feeling quite isolated living abroad in a tiny village, so we've decided to move to a small city near the Italian border, by the end of the year. I think I'll be much happier there. I even made friends with another vegan woman I randomly met whilst there on a day trip.

I might put something about my coaching things in my signature soon; I will need to complete 40 hours pro bono coaching in order to get my certificate, so perhaps that's something I can offer to someone on here. :D

Re: General update

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:19 am
by David020549
I have to ask why you are punishing yourself like this, when you made the video I said very courageous, now you can recover and the problems would be in the background, not forgotten but not all enveloping, now you are perpetuating the past by retelling your experiences over and over again, emotionally draining in the extreme. I understand you want to help others but this does not seem to be settling you into a normal life ( if that is your aim ) and you should be thinking of your own welfare more.

Most young women finding a partner would follow their man as you have done and concentrate on building a life together, home, family and future, not excluding years gone by but the bond is with the new life. It seems you have a good man be careful not to exhaust his love for you, he is investing a lot in you, how much are you investing in him, don't take that as a criticism, just a question. I was wondering about the "Vegan Woman" - are you vegan too, nothing wrong with that as long as you are careful about diet but why do you need to identify with that lifestyle, don't you have enough issues without adding veganism and likely animal rights too.

Best wishes

Re: General update

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:11 pm
by Tarantula
Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Re: General update

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:32 pm
by David020549
Got it now, reverse psychology you see everything backwards. LOL