Well a few days ago (I think it was 4 days ago? Not sure...) I was at my girlfriends house, in her bedroom (Hiding from her parents


Then we were getting all lovey dovey, and I took her top off



I love her really much, and I know shes 'the one' so should I just go ahead and take my top off? I am really self concious, and to tell you the truth I dont have an awful lot 'up top'. I really hate my body, I think it all started in year 8. I got raped by some guy ( I haven't told anyone but my girlfriend, who has had a similar experience) I don't even know. It happened again after that though. I haven't seen him since I changed schools in year 9 so it's not like its still going on.
After I got raped I began to cut myself. I was not attention seeking if thats what anyone thinks, and its not something I did to get sympathy. And it wasn't a cry for help. I felt like I deserved to be punished for getting raped, as strange as that may sound.
I cut my arms, my legs and my stomach. I don't have the cuts anymore, but I have scars that are really unattractive. Especially the ones on my stomach, because they kind of pop out of my skin and are really noticable.
My girlfriend is the most amazingly stunning person you could ever imagine to lay eyes on and I feel inadequete. So I don't know if I should take my top off to appease her, since she did for me I kind of feel like I owe her.
Sorry I wrote so much for such a stupid thing, but I think you have to really understand everything to answer me

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you can comment with something constuctive.
Later
- Charlotte
xxx