Need a confidence boost...

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Need a confidence boost...

Postby [insertusernamehere] » Mon May 09, 2011 5:31 pm

Hi,

Lately, I have been feeling really down. I don't really like myself that much and I'm crying loads. I'm finding it hard to be confident as well. I want to be an actress/singer when I'm older and I really don't want this to stop my chances. My parents are really encouraging but I still can't perform in front of people...

So,

1. Does anyone have any tips on how to boost your confidence?
2. I've got quite a few spots so does anyone have any tips on how to get rid of them so I can like my appearance a bit more?

I'm open to anything you think might help!

Thanks
[insertusernamehere]
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Re: Need a confidence boost...

Postby ILoveChristmas » Tue May 10, 2011 8:39 am

Hey there,

It's hard to know how to respond without knowing roughly how old you are, but if I can assume that you're still at school then I don't find it surprising that you don't like performing in front of people. Not very many people do, especially at that age.

Why don't you try building up to it. To begin with you can sing/act to yourself in your bedroom, then as you become comfortable with what you're doing you can take it a step further and open your room door so people can hear. Likewise, once you're used to people overhearing you sing you could crank it up another notch and sing while other people are about. You still wouldn't have to perform for them, just do it while they're around and while you're busy doing other things like the washing up. Soon enough I think you'll find yourself comfortable singing when your family is around. After that you can move onwards and upwards and start doing it while friends or extended family members are about.

When it comes to acting you don't need to do it like you're on a film set, you could just slip into a character you've made up and go about your business in character. The same sort of building up process could work just as well for that. Limit it to you, your mirror and your room to begin with and move on from there once you're happy.

Ultimately once you're happy singing and acting to yourself and your family then you should look to enroll in some kind of acting and/or singing classes. Singing classes are readily available and usually advertised locally and of course you'll find them online. The same is probably true for acting classes.

I think there's a tendency with shows like X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent to think that all performers need to have a level of confidence that would allow them to walk on stage infront of thousands of people and sing. In reality the people on these shows who do that are displaying a far higher than is normal level of confidence - your average person could and wouldn't do that.

It's true to say that if you want to make a career out of singing and acting then yes, you will eventually have to do that sort of thing but it's a long way off and there's a lot you can be doing in the mean time to build you confidence.

Have a look here: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/

Hopefully some of the ladies on here can help you with the spot issues. I know you can get various effective facial washes from the shops and if it's serious enough you can get medication from the doctor but there may be other, simpler, solutions that someone else can suggest.

If your spots are impacting your confidence then there's no harm in speaking to your doctor about it. If the amount of spots you have is non-typical for your age then i'm sure they'll sort it out for you.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: Need a confidence boost...

Postby [insertusernamehere] » Tue May 10, 2011 4:20 pm

Thank you very much!! I'm 14 :) This has really helped me! I'm going to try what you have advised!!
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Re: Need a confidence boost...

Postby moominrachy » Tue May 31, 2011 12:43 pm

When I was 14 I was fat, had terrible skin, was bullied, weighed about 14 stone....

I had no friends and I used to lie to my mum saying I was going to a friend's house and wander around town on my own for hours so she wouldn't worry. I had a lot of dreams I never pursued because I lacked the confidence to follow them

A lot of years later (I'm 30) I have a masters degree, a job, house car, slightly troublesome fiance, I've totally changed my appearance and I feel a lot more confident about myself.

I get really shy sometimes still, what I've found helps is reminding myself that other people don't know I feel shy or lack confidence - as long as I pretend I feel confident, they will believe me - this seems to work and a lot of people are surprised when they learn how shy I really am.

Honestly, I spent too long letting my lack of confidence hold me back. If you believe in yourself other people will too. People are drawn to those who are positive and outgoing. Even if you have to pretend to feel like this, do it, and eventually you won't be pretending, you'll be feeling that way for real.

By the way, being 14 is rubbish, luckily it doesn't last forever! x
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