Got the blues :(

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Got the blues :(

Postby stressball » Thu May 27, 2010 9:14 pm

Hey there, I'm not really expecting any answers/sympathy here because I probably don't deserve it, but just wanted to have a whinge about things haha.

So I got engaged to my wonderful boyfriend last week, we bought the ring which was really expensive (the most expensive think we've ever bought besides our house!) and since then I've been talking about planning it all and saving up, etc. I did some sums and worked out if we save enough we could possibly have a wedding in 2 years time, and thats with a limited budget.

Well tonight I started talking about venues and stuff with my fiance and he got a worried look on his face so I'm thinking uh-oh he doesnt want to go through with it, but turns out we are almost in the red/in debt as we've been spending too much and he didn't want to tell me in case I got upset!!! I'm more upset about him keeping it from me than the actual wedding not going ahead for a few years - although I am a little heartbroken over that too (I had a little cry earlier). Anyways looks like we've had financial problems for a couple of months but he wanted us to get engaged so to keep me smiling!!

I'm just so down right now and I know I have absolutely no right to be, but I just feel so frustrated and sad :(

Stressball x
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Re: Got the blues :(

Postby Bel Bel » Fri May 28, 2010 11:33 am

Hey the fact he asked you is great, shame the motivation behind it wasn't quite what you would have wanted.

The fact you can see an end to the debt is a good thing. Concentrate on geting that down and then start saving for your wedding. There isn't any rush, you are already living together. It will be worth the wait. You are only supposed to do it once so better to wait a little longer and get it right

It was a bit naughty of your fella to get you in more debt for the ring without discussing the problem with you. I think you should tell him not to keep things like this from you if you are to have a positive future
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Re: Got the blues :(

Postby singingsmiler » Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:13 pm

I'm not surprised you are feeling a little blue - you had this huge rush from getting engaged and then you have had the disappointment of discovering debt. Of course that is bound to make you feel upset. While in some ways i can understand why your bf may have wanted to keep it from you - i think now you should take the time to sit down and talk through your finances and how you are going to work at paying off your debts. Also weddings are lovely but they are one day that leads to a lifetime of marriage - you don't have to spend a fortune on a wedding to have a beautiful day - so don't get too disheartened

I think the key now is to sit down together and work out a budget and have a clear plan of your ingoings and outgoings -sounds dull i know but it will put you in good stead for the future and ensure you don't have any more surprises!
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