Search found 943 matches

by Tarantula
Wed Aug 22, 2018 12:51 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: How to stop this 10 years on?
Replies: 18
Views: 3024

Re: How to stop this 10 years on?

Hang on, if you're in a position to prevent your ex from having contact with your kids, who you've said he uses to get at you, and who you've mentioned are on the register because of his violent behaviour.... why aren't you doing that? Not to win, but for their safety and not having to grow up witne...
by Tarantula
Mon Aug 20, 2018 4:57 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Advice on trust issue please
Replies: 2
Views: 1150

Re: Advice on trust issue please

Firstly, why did you feel the need to have an 'internet friend' of the opposite sex. Are you telling us, honestly, that you had no fantasies about them or romantic/sexual ideation whatsoever? If you say yes then I have to take your word for it, but you must admit, it sounds a bit odd. Especially onc...
by Tarantula
Mon Aug 20, 2018 10:52 am
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: How to stop this 10 years on?
Replies: 18
Views: 3024

Re: How to stop this 10 years on?

100% agree with boulding. You must not allow this drama to unfold to any extent whatsoever. Don't get sucked into the games, don't try to 'win', don't try to get your points across, never argue, never give him the effort it takes to text back anything that is not strictly essential. You have to buil...
by Tarantula
Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:27 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Heart or Head
Replies: 4
Views: 1454

Re: Heart or Head

You would be committing to something - you would be committing to making them happy and giving them what they want. One way or another, that would probably end up meaning a relationship. And what's wrong with that? I agree with reckoner, though, this isn't head vs heart.... this is a bit of interest...
by Tarantula
Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:06 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Is There Any Chance She Might Come Back?
Replies: 2
Views: 1038

Re: Is There Any Chance She Might Come Back?

She's just stringing you along for an ego boost. Sorry for your loss. When you show interest, she's not interested. But when you stop giving her attention, she texts going 'you ok?' Translation: why have you stopped giving me attention? You're supposed to be giving me attention, that's why I keep yo...
by Tarantula
Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:03 am
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Helping my GF
Replies: 3
Views: 1201

Re: Helping my GF

Hi manperson

I generally agree with boulding, but am interested to know more about exactly what has been going on? What are her issues, and what current situation is happening for you?

Yes, above all, she needs stability and a peaceful environment, it sounds like.
by Tarantula
Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:08 am
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Sorting out my ex
Replies: 4
Views: 1219

Re: Sorting out my ex

It's nice to know that my input remains consistent..!
by Tarantula
Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:31 am
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Sorting out my ex
Replies: 4
Views: 1219

Re: Sorting out my ex

It's pretty obvious. He doesn't want you telling his gf what he did. He wants to pretend it never happened because he regrets it and probably feels a bit ashamed. Did you feel a sense of superiority over his gf when you slept together? Do you feel that he's still 'your property' because you were wit...
by Tarantula
Mon Jul 30, 2018 12:40 pm
Forum: Siblings
Topic: Worried about my brother
Replies: 9
Views: 3848

Re: Worried about my brother

Thank you both Reckoner, you've picked up on the influence of clubbing environments, which has been his main source of social interaction for many many years. I think it's shaped the way he sees people and women in particular, and has made him cynical. I agree it's all fun and alcohol-fuelled sponta...
by Tarantula
Sun Jul 22, 2018 3:14 pm
Forum: Siblings
Topic: Worried about my brother
Replies: 9
Views: 3848

Re: Worried about my brother

Hi snail Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes, I had hoped that listening and offering empathy and support (please note: I don't talk to him like I write on PP, because I have a massively better depth of understanding of his problems, and since users on here don't always engage in lasting dialog...
by Tarantula
Sat Jul 21, 2018 10:55 am
Forum: Siblings
Topic: Worried about my brother
Replies: 9
Views: 3848

Worried about my brother

Hi PP I've written about this before I think, well... ... I am increasingly worried that my brother might commit suicide one day. He is desperately miserable, has been depressed for years, was beaten and neglected as a child (and bullied at school for being brown), our mum drank during the early sta...
by Tarantula
Mon Jul 09, 2018 12:53 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Jealousy of others
Replies: 4
Views: 1380

Re: Jealousy of others

But she's walking all over you. You think you'd be 'losing' something if you left - you'd be losing a rubbish sex life and dull relationship with someone who doesn't treat you particularly well. You'd be gaining freedom, autonomy and the opportunity of meeting someone new. Someone out there would wa...
by Tarantula
Thu Jul 05, 2018 1:42 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Jealousy of others
Replies: 4
Views: 1380

Re: Jealousy of others

Yeah I've felt jealous before, who hasn't. It has always been about me, though, and not anything that anyone else has done 'wrong'. So I've focused on why I feel I am lacking something, decide whether I genuinely am lacking something or if it's my self-sabotaging mind playing tricks on me, and then ...
by Tarantula
Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:56 pm
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Advice re marriage to controlling partner.
Replies: 45
Views: 5109

Re: Advice re marriage to controlling partner.

Goodness me. Is there a part of you that believes that?

How's the situation now?
by Tarantula
Wed Jul 04, 2018 10:57 am
Forum: Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Topic: Advice re marriage to controlling partner.
Replies: 45
Views: 5109

Re: Advice re marriage to controlling partner.

Right so she's very much the victim at all times then. I don't suppose she acknowledged her own part in these stories, when relaying them to you?